#337 Gems & Laughs with Geri Jewell from The Facts of Life

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:28

all right, Lisa, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get the show going each and every week, and this week was no exception. Welcome everybody to episode 337 of classic conversations. As always, I am your host. Jeff Dwoskin, great to have you back for what sure to be an episode full of gems and jewels. My guest today is none other than Geri Jewell, that's right, cousin Geri from facts of life, you loved her in that Deadwood and so much more. And we're diving in deep that's coming up in just a few seconds, and in these few seconds, last week, Lynn moody joined me we talk soap roots and so much more, and a heartwarming story of how she reunited with her daughter after 50 years. Do not miss that episode. But right now, do not miss my conversation with Geri Jewell, we talk about her new book, Geri's jewels and gems. I also dived into her memoir. I'm walking as straight as I can. So much. Geri Jewell, goodness coming at you right now. All right, everyone. I'm excited to introduce my next guest actress, stand up, comedian, motivational speaker, author of I'm walking as straight as I can, and the brand new Geri's jewels and gems. You loved her on facts of life and Deadwood. Everybody, put your hands together for Geri Jewel. Hey, Geri. How are you?

Geri Jewell 2:02

I'm good.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:03

I'm so excited that, you know, it's like when I get to talk to people that I watched on TV growing up. I mean, you know cousin Geri on the facts of life, which was one of my I love that show, so I'm excited. Thank you. You have a fascinating background and like so much to talk about, but I'd love to talk about stand up comedy. I'm a stand up comic. I'm in Michigan. I've done it for 20 years or so. I'm not famous or anything, but, you know, I do my thing so

Geri Jewell 2:35

you didn't stand up, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:38

I got paints to it even

Geri Jewell 2:43

okay. What are you wearing now?

Jeff Dwoskin 2:44

I'd love to hear your story like when you, you know, when you were younger and you wanted to get into show business. I know you were inspired by Carol Burnett. I know then you started doing stand up comedy. Just, I'd love to hear just kind of like the path, like, when did you decide? When did you realize you were hilarious, that I was funny. Yeah, when did, when did you realize you were fine? Like, when did you realize that you could be funny for a living?

Geri Jewell 3:09

I think I always had a sense of humor, and I got that from my family. I mean, I had my family. Always had us into people. I remember when I was learning how to walk, and if I fell down, you know, mothers go and grab their child. Oh, are you okay? Not my mom. My mom would look at me, I'd be bawling, and she'd look at me and she said, was that trip necessary? Really? Geri,

Jeff Dwoskin 3:39

ah, and

Geri Jewell 3:43

I grew up with that kind of sense of evil. I had too old brother to Addison's review. My my younger sister, who came along, had a sense of humor.

Jeff Dwoskin 3:54

You guys are just always, always laughing. When did you decide this is something you want to pursue and have it be your thing. Well,

Geri Jewell 4:03

I never wanted to be a stand up comedy. Never it didn't even help. I don't need stand up comedy. I wanted to be an actress, comedic actress, a writer. But at that time, stand up was open to me with a door open. So I went through it, and it ended up being, gosh, the rest is history. I started doing stand up comedy in 1978 at the Comedy Store in Hollywood, and the only reason I got into it was because I went to college with a friend of mine, Alex Valdez, who was blind, and this was my 13 college. Yeah, it was my third year in college, I know, with a two year college, but I. Would do with me. Okay? So he said, You know, I was in the disabled services department with him, and I was really depressed because I had flung to algebra for the third time. I was flunking anatomy and physiology then, and I was like, Oh God, I have to pass these classes to graduate. And Alex said, Well, what do you really want to do? I get feeling you don't really want to do this. Well, I don't I want to go into show business. I want to be an actress. I want to be a comedian. And he said, Well, why don't you do what I do? Well, what do you do? Well, I'd go to the Comedy Store. I think we can tell blind jokes. What Al? I've got me whoop for you, but I can see perfectly fine. And he said, No, dinky face. He always used to call me dinky face. That was his nickname for me, Pinky face. You're going to have cerebral palsy, Joe, so that he got me into it. I blame him. I credit him. He got me into it.

Jeff Dwoskin 6:14

I was reading your autobiography, yeah, and you were talking about being at the Comedy Store and Mitzi and like going on stage and killing the first time, but then bombing shortly afterwards.

Geri Jewell 6:30

Yeah, the following week, I bombed. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. I'm running down Sunset Boulevard to my car, and Alex is running after me. If you can imagine a person who was lying chasing someone herself.

Jeff Dwoskin 6:52

And

Geri Jewell 6:58

he said, Geri, stop. And I said, I don't ever want to do this again. Why? Because I bombed. Every comedian bombs, and if they say they didn't, they're lying.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:15

That's true. That's true. Well, I remember it reminded me of when I was starting out, and the first couple times I did stand up comedy, killed it. I crushed it. And then, like the third time, literally, the third time I get up there, I couldn't buy a laugh. My wife was in the audience, and she came up to me afterwards, and she goes, Are you okay? Because if I was you, I'd be crying right now.

Geri Jewell 7:37

You know what's interesting? I remember a gig, and I don't even think I wrote about it in my book. It was at the not the White House, although I performed there too, but it was a comedy club called the White House in Long Island. I don't even know if it exists anymore, and I got up on stage, and my cousins and my aunt and uncle were there. They came to see me, which was mortifying, because not one line went over, and the audience was she is they were throwing their candles on the stage at me, and somebody yelled, what mental institution Did they let you out of? And I was so mortified. I got off the stage and, well, I guess I have to leave. And everybody applauded that I was leaving. And the next thing I know, my cousin Mary took me to a bar so I could have a drink. I was so devastated, and I'm drinking, I think it was a white wine, and I got and I didn't drink, so one glass would just send me over the room, and everybody was staring at me, and I jumped off the chair, and I said, I'm not well. I had terrible problems. My Cousin Mary said, Wait, shut up. You're drunk. And it was because the audience would not open to someone like me. They just wouldn't, would not accept me that night.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:29

I think we all have those nights. We're like, you get up there, and I remember doing two shows back to back. Once in the first show, you'd think I was the funniest, greatest comedian in in the history of the world. And then two hours later, I'm doing the show again, and I swear to God, the whole time I'm thinking, Am I accidentally speaking Spanish? Because nobody is reacting to me at all. And I was just so amazing. You guys, you should have been here two hours ago. Oh yes,

Geri Jewell 10:00

I know I experienced that sometimes in Vegas, because whenever I was booked in Vegas, they had me do, I think it was four shows a night, one right after another, right after another. And, wow, it's a lot of work to do that, and you do the same show you did the first time, but not everybody. You know, everybody laughs in a different way. Everybody has a different sense of humor. You're not going to humor everybody. In fact, you as a comedian, I guarantee you will offend at least one person every time.

Jeff Dwoskin 10:39

Yeah, everybody takes things slightly different, and it's, it's hard. I've never, I've never done more than two shows back to back. But in Vegas, somebody once told me, when you're doing three or four shows in a row, tell me, yeah, you have to do the exact same thing every time, or your brain starts to play tricks on you of did I do this already, or didn't I do this already? Type things? And it was like, I've never experienced it. To go back to the original story where you did you were you killed, and then you bombed shortly after, which is what I experienced, too. And then everyone said to me, they're like, that's a normal that's what happens when you do stand up comedy, because that's when you have to then make that mental shift, because you all of a sudden are you're trying for the laugh, not, you know, I mean, there's like a different your delivery does change, because, you know the laughs are going to come, and you don't deliver it exactly the same way, and then you have to readjust yourself exactly

Geri Jewell 11:37

you do, absolutely. It's a skill. People think that stand up comedy, you just go up and touch up. It's more than that. It's timing, it's skill. It's knowing your audience. If you don't know who your audience is, you could be in big trouble. The

Jeff Dwoskin 11:58

best advice I ever got was I was working with somebody. They said, Jeff, you got great material, but you're missing the pauses. You're not pausing. He goes, I can't tell you where to pause. All I can tell you is they're there, and you have to find them absolutely and when I did, and then became like a master of that, and you realize how powerful a pause can be, then it was like he would anytime I would bump into the guy, and he would see me, he goes, Yeah, you owe me big time, buddy. So you when you were coming up and doing comedy The Comedy Store you were doing comedy store improv, you were kind of, I don't wanna say, breaking the rules, but that wasn't the norm, right? Normally, one would pick a path one of those places, and then you that was kind of your place. Yeah,

Geri Jewell 12:45

you were supposed to do one or the other. I mean, Mika shore and Bud Friedman were competing, and you weren't allowed to do both clubs. But the problem was, I wasn't getting hardly any work. So I cheated. I did both clubs, and I risk, I don't think it hurt me in the long run,

Jeff Dwoskin 13:10

no, it turned out okay, who else was coming up when you were coming up in the world of comedy? Oh, God, Geri

Geri Jewell 13:19

Seinfeld, Roseanne Barr got so many. It was just 70s. It was, I can't think about now, oh,

Jeff Dwoskin 13:28

but that's, that's a good list, right there. And then, in your book, you talked about living in Robert schimmels closet.

Geri Jewell 13:35

Yes, I did. I did. Well, he needed a roommate. So originally I had a bedroom, and I was reading from him, and then another comedian needed a roommate. Needed a place to stay. So he was sleeping on the sofa every night, but he was bringing dates home every night, just on the sofa. And so I decided, you know, I'm going to give them the bedroom. It's your bedroom. You don't have to give it. No, I'll take the closet. And you're serious, yeah, I'm serious. I bought a mattress that fit in the closet, and it was one of those closets where staircase above me, so the ceiling got lower and lower at the stairs lower and lower. And one day and I was renting that closet for $100 a month. Mind you, and I loved my little closet. And then one morning, we were late for our rent. Okay, we were late for our rent many mornings, but the landlord came knocking on the door Saturday morning, looking for the rent. And Bob answered the door, and he said, You're late on your rent. Shimmer and I need it now. Up. So he goes down the hall and gets rose chef, and he gets his own chef, and he hands it to him, and he said, you short $100 and I said, Yeah, well, I need 100 more dollars right now. So the landlord is sitting on the sofa, and the closet is ready to cross from the sofa, and Bob knocks on the closet door and he says, Geri, I need decent because the landlord's here, and he wants his $100 rent. Can you buy to check out $400 and without even opening the door, I said to check. The landlord looked at Bob and said, You know what? I'm not even gonna ask. He got a lot of flap in the comedian for renting me a closet. But he kept telling everybody it was my idea, and it was, it wasn't his idea.

Jeff Dwoskin 16:04

Oh, that is really funny. When was your first national TV gig? You told an interesting story, and I it was interesting that you shared it in the book because about accidentally or using Bob Nelson's Q tip joke and then becoming famous with it.

Geri Jewell 16:21

I was, oh, my, you did read my book.

Jeff Dwoskin 16:24

I loved it. I loved I really did. It was, it was really good. I met

Geri Jewell 16:28

Bob Nelson in New York, and I think I had a little crush on him. And he did all these impressions. He did one impression of a Q tip where he put a plethora white pluck ball on his head, and that's now just an impression I can do. He won't know if that way, he'll never know I get his Q tip impression, and it ended up being on ABC News nationalized. They covered the Comedy Store that night, and I called Bob, and I said, Bob, I'm really sorry I stole your Q tip joke and it would it aired on national television, but you can have any one of my cerebral palsy jokes, just take it. Actually, I never stole again. That taught me a lesson not to steal either comedian's joke.

Jeff Dwoskin 17:30

Yeah, I mean, it sounds like you weren't like you were just kind of just doing it for fun, and they just happened to catch it and put on TV. That's, that's really funny. Early on, you mentioned you didn't want to be your aspirations weren't to be necessarily stand up comic, but, but an actress, and Carol Burnett was your idol, and you there was some cool stories about how you were a pen pal with Carol Burnett, and then you eventually met her. It's pretty cool. She is the greatest

Geri Jewell 17:59

she is. She really is. I mean, she she wrote me back every letter I started writing her when I was 12 or 13, and she always wrote me back. And I told her I wanted to be like her when I grew up. And she always said, you know, get into acting. And every faculty she said, there's no guarantee that you'll become pro there's no guaranteed life period, but you'll never know what you can do unless you try to write a letter like that to a little kid 13 with CP is very powerful. I mean, you know, we have counselors and saying, Ah, Gary, that's not realistic. You need to pick a friendly cerebral palsy job, you know, something that people with cerebral palsy can do. And Carol never treated me that way. From day one, she treated me just like any any other aspirations of a child wanting to grow up to be a cum

Jeff Dwoskin 19:03

you are the role model to show that nothing can hold you back. If you push through, you can do it. So that's that is really cool. That's really awesome. That Carol Burnett, you know, it's interesting. Like every she never had to write you back. She never had to do that. She did, you know, and just those moments where you can touch somebody and change their lives in just a simple way. I mean, what did it take her five minutes to write the letter, or something like that, or whatever, and it was like, and it had such an impact on you. It's just, just shows you how much you can change the world.

Geri Jewell 19:32

I tell you something really embarrassing is that now, remember, I was 13. Come on, give me a break. He sent me an autograph picture, and I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. Don't ask a nerve to ride her against dear kill for that, I accidentally. Last few picture in the toilet.

Jeff Dwoskin 20:05

Carol Burnett is an angel. Anyone listening to this that didn't love Carol Burnett a million times before, loves her a million times, a million times now, that is just she's so wonderful. It's so great that she had such an early impact on you, and that she was willing, and she had enough postage to send you another autograph. That's really cool. That's really, really cool.

Geri Jewell 20:25

I mean, most people wouldn't admit that they dropped their picture in their toilet.

Jeff Dwoskin 20:33

I mean, you could write up a different story,

all right. Well, we'll leave the rest of that story to the imagination. So it's safe to say that, like one of the other pivotable moments in your life that was life changing, was meeting Norman Lear,

Geri Jewell 20:53

yes, I started doing stand up in 78 and in 1980 Fern field had heard about me, and she was producing the second annual Media Access Awards, which is an award show for including people with disabilities in the industry. And she asked me form for that event. And that particular night, Norman Leah was there, even Charlotte Ray was there. They were sitting together, and Norman came up. I got a standing ovation, thank God. And Norman came up to me after the show, and he said, you know, you're really funny, you can but you're way before your time, I said, so don't wait a couple months. And he did actually wait a couple months and cast me as little as 10 on the facts of life. So it was amazing. I mean, my first episode of Facts of light air, then Christmas Eve in 1980

Jeff Dwoskin 22:02

I mean, that's, that's amazing to meet Norman Lear and then get so the first season, then I'm guessing, because you came in cousin Geri's in the second season. So I'm guessing the first season was happening, and then when he saw you, you know, he's sitting there with Charlotte, right? Maybe there's they came up with the idea for your character. I mean, I'm, I'm guessing they had written a cousin with CP. By coincidence, they would have Cassie

Geri Jewell 22:26

as one of the students, which would which would have been very powerful to have a student with a disability in a private school. And I looked young enough, even though I was 23 I looked 1516, I looked a lot younger than my real age. But they couldn't because they had just cut the cat. Remember all the girls?

Jeff Dwoskin 22:52

Yeah, like Molly Ringwald was on it. There was a ton of people, yeah, and

Geri Jewell 22:56

they just hired Nancy McKeon before me, too. So what are they going to do with Geri and Norman? Lear came up with the idea to cast me at Blair's cousin, which was brilliant because it humanized Blair. It showed her vulnerability and her love, which really wasn't expressed until that point,

Jeff Dwoskin 23:21

right, right, right. Yeah, you gave her a different, exactly

Geri Jewell 23:25

and interesting. Lisa and I became very close friends, and we were remixed for a year that I just saw her last week. We're still friends to this day.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:37

I think I just read something in Entertainment Weekly, or something, or something that you guys, you just literally got together not too long ago, at least, I think, right, was there like a mini reunion not too long ago?

Geri Jewell 23:48

Yeah, yeah. We had a wonderful time. It was a great reunion. I hadn't been there in a while, and she sustained me side always. She grew up a little bit so did I I'm greater. I

Jeff Dwoskin 24:02

know everyone else was a bit younger than you on the show. So did that make it harder to connect with the folks, just in terms of hanging out?

Geri Jewell 24:10

Well, of course, of course. I think Nancy McCann was 16. Kim field was 15, and Mindy Kahn was 15, so there was an you know, 23 and 16 is a big difference. Lisa, on the other hand, was 17, and she had just she turned 18 the following years. So we were closer chronologically. So we did a lot of fun things together. We went to movies and went out to dinner and really had a we had a solid friendship,

Jeff Dwoskin 24:47

right? And I read in your book, you talk about how you moved in together your roommates. It's great that you the bonds that you make. They say, TV families, forever. Yeah. So, okay, so did you. Have to audition then for the facts of life, or did

Geri Jewell 25:02

no no remember Norman bail was in the audience. I'm

Jeff Dwoskin 25:06

saying so they just Norman wrote this character for you, and said Geri Jewell is cousin Geri.

Geri Jewell 25:12

He wrote the idea, Joel, come on. And Gibbs actually wrote the script. And they used a lot of my stand up comedy lines in the actual first episode, they owe me for that. Yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 25:28

that makes you a writer for the show, right? They used your famous t shirt. Uh, yes,

Geri Jewell 25:33

yeah. That was interesting because I had, I developed a t shirt, made a t shirt early on that said, I don't have cerebral palsy. I'm drunk, which is the opposite of what you would say, and I wore every single time I did comedy. So it had body odor, it had coffee stains, it had everything on it, you could imagine. But I was so broke, I couldn't afford 2t shirts, you know, to wash one way or the other. I would wear that dirty t shirt. So then, when Jackson glass came along, Wardlow bought me some new T shirts to wear on the show. The T shirt was hysterical. And when I got the t shirt, I realized that my own t shirt, I spelled cerebral palsy wrong. They spelled it right. I mean, I had cerebral palsy for 23 years and didn't know how to spell it. You don't put an E in poverty.

Jeff Dwoskin 26:49

I would, I would have guessed that you dropped the R from cerebral. Sometimes I said cerebral. I know, I don't say that it's cerebral, cerebral. Like it sounds faster without the R. Like, I had to look up how to

Geri Jewell 27:02

spell it too cerebral or cerebral. I don't care. It's palsy anyway, no matter how you pronounce. And then at Christmas time I have Bell Posey. No, I'm kidding.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:23

Wait, what was the jokey man on the show? Oh, if you had had polio, the shirt would have been cheaper because they charged and

Geri Jewell 27:32

it would have been cheaper if I knew how to borrow.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:40

Do a GoFundMe. We'll get you back that 30 cents after this episode. Sorry to interrupt, but I have to go set up that GoFundMe real quick. I do want to thank everyone for their support of the sponsors. And you support the sponsors. You're supporting us here at Classic conversations, and that's how we keep the lights on. And now back to my conversation with Geri Jewell, was there a potential spin off? Did you mention that? And in your book, like they had considered,

Geri Jewell 28:06

they considered a spin off, and it was going to be called, I think it was going to be called, here's Geri, and it never materialized. There was a lot of negativity swirling around me at that time, and I wasn't mature enough, savvy enough or experienced enough to know what to do with it all. I mean, my manager investment, all my money from facts of life. He went to prison, but I didn't put him there. I was low man on the totem pole. I mean, when he went to prison, he left me $25 in the bank.

Jeff Dwoskin 28:47

That's horrible.

Geri Jewell 28:48

That's it. And the problem was, is that I didn't have someone to really look over me. You know another word. You hire a manager to protect you and to guide you and to help you. And mine did the opposite. It's common in Hollywood for people to take advantage of people. I mean, it happens all the time. It's an old story, but I think the reason why I was was because a lot of people do not separate the intellectual from the body. I move this way. They think, Oh, she must be really stupid. And a lot of people just took advantage of the world. But I'm I'm still here.

Jeff Dwoskin 29:38

You're still here. You're still rocking. I'm sorry that happened. Did he screw over did your managers screw over anyone else? Were there other people?

Geri Jewell 29:46

Oh, yeah. I mean, he went to prison, I think, for three years, for other embellments and that that he did. That's

Jeff Dwoskin 29:56

so horrible. He was not a good maker that. That's, that's horrible, yeah, because when I was reading that part of the story where you're like, the facts of life, people gave you a check for $45 and you're like, 40 what is it? $45 and you had taken advances on your salary without you even knowing it. It was, it was heartbreaking. I'm so sorry that happened. Thank

Geri Jewell 30:16

you. But I don't regret any of the negative things that have happened to me, because it's part of who I am today. It made me stronger. You know, I spent most of my life in special ed. The first 15 years of my life were very shuffled, and I think that's why I look so young at 43 because I was in special ed salon, they kept young, young, young, young, young. You're a little girl with terrible Harvey you get so in a way, the hushness of reality of life kind of broke through that special ed shout, allowing me to grow up, if that makes any sense,

Jeff Dwoskin 31:05

yeah, it totally does. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Yeah. Oh, I gotta talk about, let's talk about a happy thing. Get off the manager for a second. Leave that behind. I mean, Facts of Life is awesome. Deadwood is awesome. We'll talk about that in a second. Love Deadwood, but I want to talk about the time you went to Sesame Street, because that, to me, is the greatest. I mean, to be able to hang out with Big Bird and the Muppets and like the Sesame Street Gang, like, to me, that's the cool like, that would be the coolest thing ever. Well,

Geri Jewell 31:41

it was 1984 and my new manager got me, this kid obsessed with me, not not the one sitting in prison. And they asked me if I knew if I had a skill that that kids could relate to, because, you know, stand up comedy, you can't do that four years, they won't get it. And truthfully, looking back, I think I told them, and God, you're jogging all these memories, I told him two things. I told him, I can play Space Invaders, Miss Pakman classics, the

Jeff Dwoskin 32:25

best games ever, okay, and

Geri Jewell 32:28

I can rotate. And the minute I said rotoscape, I was like, Oh, my God, not only do I have cerebral palsy, I have mental health issues. I mean, I did learn how to skate as a kid. Back one Christmas, I got two skates for my parents, but I never learned how to stop. I never, you know,

Jeff Dwoskin 32:53

you can go. You just can't stop. Yeah, I

Geri Jewell 32:56

just go, and hopefully there would be a tree or a wall or something

Jeff Dwoskin 33:01

or an uphill Yeah,

Geri Jewell 33:04

Hill city, the puppeteers inside dead bird, dead wood, not dead bird, inside Big Bird. He was very excited that I knew how to skate, because that was one of the skills he knew how to do at Big Bird. Put skates on Big Bird, so they flew into New York. We didn't dress in those one the night before, but they forgot my skate, so I just walked with Big Bird. Didn't skate with them. Just walk to my marks and said my lines the next day in front of the live audience. They bought me this gate, they put them on backstage, they opened the curtain, they got my cue, and they said, go. Go to your mouth. You remember where you went last night? Go. I came out on that stage going so fast. I mean, it was a matter of seconds, and it was like, oh my god, I forgot. I don't know how to stop. Either I'm going to kick the camera, which is going to be crazy, or I'm going to flip over the railing and land on these four year olds and their parents, and that could be messy. I thought that by leaning my weight in aiming towards Big Bird was the safest thing I could do, because he did and he stopped, and he had feathered. I hit big bird so hard his head fell off, and it rolled across this day, and these four year olds were screaming that I killed them. And you know, they were so traumatized, I think a few of them are probably still in therapy. And spinny and I became very excited. Of friends after that. And he said, You are the only celebrity guest that ever have that decapitated.

Jeff Dwoskin 35:10

Oh, my God, that is amazing. Do they have that on tape? Oh, my goodness. Oh, that is that is really funny. So was it cool just being on Sesame Street, though. I mean, just, like, just, I mean, there's probably, as an actor, you get to do a lot of cool things. Like, you went to The Carol Burnett Show taping, right? You've done, you've performed in front of Norman Lear, like, you've done some really awesome things. Did any of them be being on Sesame Street? Like, for real. I'm being for real. To me, that would be like the top, like I did Sesame Street. Oh yeah. I also met Norman Lear once.

Geri Jewell 35:48

I I've been very blessed. I have, I've had an incredible career. I mean, I even did an episode of Lee. I did one episode of Alcatraz, which you may not even heard of. It was supposed to be a reoccurring role, but it only lasted one season. I

Jeff Dwoskin 36:09

don't think I ever saw Alcatraz. I did. I did know about glee. You're on the new Lassie. You wrote an episode of 21 Jump Street. Tell me about Lassie hanging out. You hung out with Big Bird and Lassie? I mean,

Geri Jewell 36:23

well, I think Lassie, the owners saw Stephanie Street and knew what I did to Big Bird, because they were very protective of last

Jeff Dwoskin 36:31

they like, they like, taped his head down so.

Geri Jewell 36:37

But it was, it was actually, it was one of the producers in a packs of life that cast me on The New Adventures of Lassie. It was Albertan, and I needed work desperately, and he automatically thought of Lassie, because that was one of the shows that he was producing. And it was a nice little episode. I played a doctor.

Jeff Dwoskin 37:00

That's awesome. That is really, really cool. And then, and then you wrote an episode of 21 Jump Street, yeah,

Geri Jewell 37:06

I wrote treatment, not the script,

Jeff Dwoskin 37:09

right? It was your idea. You came up with the the plot. Yeah,

Geri Jewell 37:12

I wrote, I wrote the treatment, and I sold it. It was a wonderful experience. I love working with Peter Delaware. He was such a sweetheart, and there was one. Now I don't have that problem so much, but my hearing aids used to whistle whenever I spoke, and they had to really do some heavy duty mold to stop that because of the cerebral palsy, and so I couldn't wear my hearing aids filming, because they would whistle every time I said a lie. So I put him in my pocket and did the scene, and then out of the blue, Peter says, and who in the hell has a teapot bone? I didn't realize that my hearing aids were on the whole time in my pocket, because I'm hearing impaired.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:17

Oh, that is so funny. Oh, and you know what you saying? Hearing Impaired reminded me. I wanted to bring it up earlier with the stand up comedy where you got rave reviews of how confident you were on stage ignoring the hecklers, and you were like, I didn't even hear the hecklers. I

Geri Jewell 38:34

know I don't hear hecklers and and that could be a plus or a minus, depending upon, oh,

Jeff Dwoskin 38:43

I think, I think it's a plus.

Geri Jewell 38:44

I mean, I could never come back with a witty remark if somebody's heckling me, because I can't hear what they said originally. So sometimes I came across as being very confident. Oh, she doesn't even she ignores her most comedians can't do that.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:04

No, I thought, I thought that that's exactly how I took it. I was like, when I talk to people about stand up comedy, one of the things I always say to my go, it's 99% confidence. Like, I mean, material, everything's important, but when you're up there, it's confidence, you know, can make or break you. And so when I read that, and I was like, oh, that's how they interpreted it. They didn't know you couldn't hear them. They just thought you were so confident in your act that you just ignored them. And then that probably made them react to you even better, because they're like, you know, because right, the more Goonies you show on that stage, they just will come to you, right? And they'll, they'll buy into and I just, I thought that was

Geri Jewell 39:46

great. I thought it was great. Actually, it was a blessing in disguise.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:49

Yeah, it's a blessing in disguise. So, okay, so you're in line at a pharmacy, and then you, you meet, bump into David Milch. Leads you to Deadwood. This leads you to Deadwood. Good. So it's like, it just seems like every time you randomly meet someone, you end up getting a TV show.

Geri Jewell 40:05

You know, it was surreal. Again, I firmly believe that if we get out of our own way, we will be okay, because I'm guided all the time. I mean, what are the odds of me running into David mill at a pharmacy, and he he he was in line, and he turned around, he said, Oh my god, Geri Jewell, and I didn't know who he was at the time, and I was not having a day. I was in a lot of pain. I would there to pick up Botox, because I get three vials of Botox injected in my neck for chronic pain. And he said, I've been a huge fan of yours. I love you since a few you inspire me, but I haven't seen you on TV in a long time. What do you do with your life? I said, Botox. No, seriously. And I said, seriously, Botox? And he said, you want a television series. And this is a pharmacy. It's not nice play with someone's mind in a pharmacy. And he said, in case you don't recognize me, my name is David milk, the executive producer of NYPD Blue. He said, Yeah, that's me. And I said, Well, Mr. Milk, I'm flattered that you believe in me and you want to hire me, but, but, let's get real. I would make a real shitty cop. Said, No, I just signed a contract with HBO. I'm doing a new Western called Deadwood. You want to do a Western? And I looked up as far as my titanium neck would let me and I said, God, you have a quirky sense of humor. I mean, I'm standing here with terrible poverty, horrendous pain, depending on Botox, the titanium neck, and David Milch wants me to ride a horse.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:15

That is funny. He act the pharmacist

Geri Jewell 42:19

for a sheet of paper, he gave him a prescription pad for an antidepressant, and he wrote his phone number. And I was the first person ever to be cast on Deadwood, even before Ian McShane, I was David's first choice.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:40

That is amazing. The role of jewel, and then you were Geri on facts of life,

Geri Jewell 42:46

I know, I know, now I have to find a show with my middle name.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:55

Was Deadwood. Just amazing to work on. I mean, like a period piece, was it enjoyable, like in these, in the actors. I mean, just any, any stories pop out, like anything as cool as anything as cool as being with Big Bird,

Geri Jewell 43:08

it was absolutely incredible. The reason I have a titanium neck now is because I broke my neck in 99 so I thought that my career was over at that point, I didn't think I'd ever walk again. But, no, the universe had other ideas. No, you're gonna walk again, whether you like it or not. And it was amazing. I mean, Ian McShane was my buddy. I mean, he was so sweet, so kind, if you can imagine, he's just a sweetheart. And I remember all the scenes we had, he treated me horrible the character. And every time the director would yell, Pat, he would come over and hug me again. I'm so sorry.

Jeff Dwoskin 44:13

What is it with actors? It can be such assholes on screen, but they're the nicest people in the world.

Geri Jewell 44:21

You know what that's I mean, Lisa was not a snob or stuck up or any of that, but her character was, and I think if you're the opposite, you're going to play the opposite even better, if that makes any sense. It

Jeff Dwoskin 44:40

does. It does. It does. So deadwood's Amazing. So do you ever do comic cons or, like the signing shows, or anything like that? Yeah,

Geri Jewell 44:49

I've done it for you. I'll probably end up doing a little bit more on it.

Jeff Dwoskin 44:54

I always try to think, like I would have to always go with cousin Geri as the eight by 10. I would have you sign. And I was, I mean, I was like, you know, you balance, like, where in your head? Because that's where you embossed yourself in my head. You know what I mean, like, the awesome things you did later. I mean, you know, I mean, so that's, that's what I would pick. I always like, try and think, because that, to me, is like, the biggest thing when you go to a Comic Con and you see all those photos there is, like, which one do you pick? Because, so anyway, I would cousin Geri, the one I would pick, and then you almost did a sitcom with Sid Caesar.

Geri Jewell 45:26

Yeah, that was amazing. Ed Simmons wrote that treatment, and I spent three months with Sid Caesar trying to sell that series. And at that time, there was no, you know, there was just ABC, CBS and NBC, that's it. And all three networks rejected it. And years later, I showed the script to Norman Lear, and Norman read it, and he was like, Why didn't add, why didn't you guys picture to me? I would have stolen it. And I think the reason being was because Ed was Norman Leah's old writing partner from the 50s. They had a bond, and I think he was trying to compete with Norman in a way. I'll show you. I'm a Geri, a star within season. I think that's the only reason he didn't go to Norman was he wanted to prove to Norman that he could do it too.

Jeff Dwoskin 46:34

Interesting, interesting. All right. Well, what could have been? What could have been so, all right. So you, you have your original your autobiography you wrote, I'm walking as straight as I can, but now you have a brand new book, Geri's Jewels and Gems. What inspired you to write this new series that pulled together these new series of essays and stories with a forward by Norman Lear, by the way, well,

Geri Jewell 47:00

2020, came along and there was covid, and the country was very troubled, and it's still in trouble. I thought, what can I do to inspire and to make people laugh and to add lightness to the world without having to go out there and actually get on stage and to stand up, because that's how I did it originally. And then I thought about all the articles that I wrote for ABILITY Magazine, and they asked me to write for them after my book came out, they were so impressed with my writing and walking as great as I can that they asked me to write columns for ABILITY Magazine. So I called Check Cooper, who was the editor, and I asked him if it was okay if I use my columns in a coffee table book. And he said, Well, yeah, as long as you give ABILITY Magazine credit. And of course, I'm going to do that. And the publisher, who is a dear friend of mine, Dr Randall Bell, we were discussing Heidel, and he wanted to call it Geri's jewels. And I said, No, no, because then it sounds like a sex book. And he said, Yeah, but it probably fell more. I said, No, I'm not calling it Geri's jewels, but I will call it Geri's jewels and gems. That's how, that's how that title came the gyms are photos that I personally picked for my book and the jewels the columns. And I needed someone to write the book, so I called Norman. I asked him if he would like to read my book, my newest book, and he goes, bring it over. Come on over to have so I went over there, and I said, Norman, I know you're really busy, and I know you have a lot on your plate. I mean, he's 101 years old behind you at that time with 101 and I said, but could you write the board for my book. It's a coffee table book. And he said, Well, what if they don't have a coffee table? Then what? Well, they can put it somewhere else.

Jeff Dwoskin 49:35

Coffee Bar is a suggestion the

Geri Jewell 49:39

coffee table. And two weeks later, he delivered

Jeff Dwoskin 49:44

that is, that is wonderful that you guys even stayed connected after all those years, and just it was that's really nice that Dorman

Geri Jewell 49:53

and I were very close. We talked regularly. He faced time with me all the time. Time he called me out of the blue just to see how I was doing. That is so rare. Geri, it's Norman. Where are you? I just called to check up on you. I mean, he was, he was kind of a throw gate dad to me up until the very end. I

Jeff Dwoskin 50:19

love hearing that that's that's so amazing. So there's a lot of a lot of great articles and gems and jewels in the book. The one thing, the one thing that I'll leave, I'll leave everyone on this. There's a great juror 999 story, and there's a whole dissertation on gum that I didn't even know I needed, but was so true. It was like, But the greatest thing was, in the photos, if you're older, which I'm older, so I lived through this type where there used to be the Halloween costumes, where it was a box, and then it would have, like, the mask, and like, this crazy, like plastic thing that you would put on. And, you know, I was probably at some point Darth Vader, maybe C, 3p, O or something. But you have a photo where at some point somebody made a Facts of Life, cousin Geri, Halloween costume, 1992 but the best part about it was voted one of the worst 100 costumes in history. Funniest thing I ever read.

Geri Jewell 51:23

Actually, the face of that costume looks more like Christy McNichol than me.

Jeff Dwoskin 51:28

Maybe, maybe there was a Christy McNichol version, yeah, like star of Family or whatever,

Geri Jewell 51:36

and they spelled it with a J, not a G, but the reason they use j was because if they use G, NBC could have sued them. Changed the one letter amazing,

Jeff Dwoskin 51:49

Geri, with the G, you are amazing. I really enjoyed spending this time with you. Thank you so much.

Geri Jewell 51:58

Oh, likewise. Thank you, Jeff, this was

Jeff Dwoskin 52:02

wonderful. So awesome. All right, everyone, get Geri's jewels and gems. Also check out Geri's book. I'm walking as straight as I can. Combination of those is so much Geri, you're gonna love it. Lots of great stories. So much goodness in both those I really enjoyed reading them both. Geri Jewell, thank you,

Geri Jewell 52:25

see you later, I guess. Thank you. All

Jeff Dwoskin 52:29

right. How amazing was Geri Jewell, such an inspiration. Definitely check out her books. I'll put links in the show notes. I'm sure you've all seen facts of life, but if you haven't seen Deadwood, it's on HBO. That's amazing as well. Lot of goodness out there. There's clips of that Sesame Street stuff we talked about that's on YouTube. I'll try and find that. I'll put that in the show notes also. Anyway, it was it was so great talking to Geri. Kind of flew by. I can't believe it. The interview is over. The episodes over another huge thank you to Geri Jewell for hanging out with me, and of course, another huge thank you to all of you for coming back week after week. It means the world to me, and I'll see you next time.

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